J-Men Forever (2002) Review

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(More customer reviews)Remember all those cliffhanger serials from the 1930's and 40's from RKO and Republic Studios, like "Shazam!", "Captain America", "Buck Rogers", "Atomic Man" and not to mention all those G-men episodes? In '79 they were all pared down and hilariously recut (with new dialogue and story) into the most hysterical - and most politically incorrect - movie I bet you've never seen. Courtesy of the hip comedy troupe known as Firesign Theatre. The instant cult status this movie achieved on late-night cable TV in the early 80's, paved the way for Steve Martin's modestly successful and more mainstream attempt at that kind of concept called "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid". But, Firesign's effort is more contraversial, subversive, outrageous and silly - and, moreover, far funnier.
The plot, such as it is, is about the straight-as-an-arrow, but definitely un-hip, mixed bag of government agents and superheroes at war with the hip, but hilariously (and deliriously) power-mad, disguise-changing, rock-and-roll ruler of the Moon, and his minions, bent on dominating Earth - their secret weapon? - potentially deadly doses of rock music! And, if that's not enough, controlled substances which can turn Earth's citizens into slaves! It's up to the government to fight back the only way they know how - with muzak! This is not only a send-up of those Hollywood vehicles themselves, but also a second look at them using what one critic calls the "more drastically hip filter which we, at almost anytime since the relatively drug-crazed 70's at least, now can't help but see them through". It's sex, drugs and rock and roll vs. the establishment, like you've never quite seen it before, as the classic war is hysterically and slyly grafted onto the cliffhangers themselves. The result is purely outrageous camp! Definitely a good thing here. This flick is sheer provocative fun and has more quotable dialogue, per minute of run time, than almost any other movie I can think of. But, due to its obvious references to pot smoking and innuendo, this is certainly not for your kids. For that matter, it's not for your parents either! While it may push the envelope, some will see it all as a big (but ultimately harmless enough) joke and others will see it as one of the most flagrantly pro-marajuana comedies ever made(!) - a.k.a. "The Day The Earth Got Stoned". But try not to let that throw you too much - to its credit, it's gotta be the absolutely non-stop funniest look at that ever-increasingly taboo subject there is, and I'd like to imagine you're only cheating yourself if you miss it :-). This movie ran a handful of times on a show called "USA's Night Flight", but was yanked when the movie drew too much flak - even though, by that time, it had also become "Night Flight"'s most requested video. According to the back cover of the DVD, it remained so for that show's entire run of 8 years. If it ever made it to VHS shortly thereafter, it was a very limited run, and, as a result, this movie hasn't been widely seen. That it's now being released on video at all, after so many years, must mean that either PC is on the wane, or that some overworked, underpaid censor unwittingly let this one slip through. In any case, I suggest you snap this one up, before the so-called "powers-that-be" come to their senses (and before John Ashcroft launches his own "Operation Interrupt"! - see the movie). Insanely funny camp, with an underground edge. WAY recommended!!

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Eegah Review

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(More customer reviews)Everything you would expect from a 60's b-movie, except no nudity. There's some swimsuit and bra shots, but thats it.

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The Screaming Skull (1958) Review

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(More customer reviews)You know, I like this little shocker and don't understand why there isn't a better print of it around. It's rather spooky and quite effective. The story concerns a husband bringing his new bride home to his family estate. She's recently out of a mental hospital due to the shock of her parents' accidental drownings. He's a widower and the shadow of his former wife {whom he's killed) hangs over everything. The bride (Peggy Webber, later a "Dragnet" regular on TV) is now rich from her inheritance and the husband tries to drive her insane and/or to suicide to get the money. He plants a skull everywhere trying to scare her and the screeching of his late wife's peacocks that still roam the grounds of the estate add to the spookiness. The screeching of the peacocks is used to emulate screams that Webber thinks is the skull screaming. But the estates' looney gardner (who loved the late wife) is on to everything and has a skull of his own that he keeps hidden in a murky fountain. Just as Webber has screamed herself into a near catatonic state from fright, the ghost of the late wife shows up to exact revenge. This sequence is handled very well as the specter is dressed in a flowing gardening dress and big hat with a skull for a face. It floats out of the greenhouse (her favorite place as she loved flowers) and chases Webber down the garden path and into the house---at night of course and very effective. It's all very low budget but well done in b&w with creepy music and a good performance from Webber. The estate is properly run down and gothic looking and shadows are used to good effect. I hope to see a decent print of this one day. I'd love to own it.

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American Drive-In Review

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(More customer reviews)Hard Rock Zombies is playing at the local drive-in, and an assorted cast of characters are all there to watch it one evening. There are too many oddball characters to go through, but some highlights are a film snob who continuously refuses his date's advances to critique the film, a nerd who has seen the film numerous times and shouts out the dialogue, a guy trying to get his girlfriend to go down on him, two little old ladies, a prostitute operating out of her trailer, mischievous children, a drunk projectionist, and a guy trying to make a drug bust to become mayor. Horror fans will recognize Phil Fondacaro starring as one of the stars of Hard Rock Zombies(which he is) who comes to the drive-in to watch and praise his performance in the film.
Most of the film shows these characters engaged in a bunch of pranks and shenanigans, but a plot unfolds as Jack and his girlfriend Bobby Ann are continuously harassed-and later assaulted-by a gang of four thugs. Numerous attempted rapes and beatings by these thugs kinda offset the comedy aspect.
I'm obviously in the minority here, but I really enjoyed this movie. Even with all it's cliched characters and situations, and it's juvenile attempts at humor, I found myself not so much laughing out loud(which I did do though a time or two), but pleasantly grinning often.
Makes me wanna watch Hard Rock Zombies again, and I never thought I'd say that!

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The Tingler (1959) Review

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(More customer reviews)William Castle was reknowned for his gimmicky films. For THE TINGLER he had "Percepto," and it was a lulu: randomly selected seats in the theatre were wired with a small motor, and at a peak moment in the film these motors came to life and literally gave your bottom a buzz! But unless you happen to have a really warped sense of humor plus some mechanical apptitude, you'll have to forego the "Percepto" effect and settle for one of the most weirdo stories to come down the street.
A doctor (Vincent Price) is studying the effects of fear. In the process, he finds that fear causes a nasty, worm-like creature to grow inside the human body along the spine. Release your fear by screaming, and the creature is destroyed; if for some reason you cannot scream, however, the creature merely grows larger and larger and kills you by crushing your spine. What the good doctor really wants, of course, is to lay his hands on one of these critters--and when a man murders his deaf-mute wife by scaring her to death, Dr. Vince gets his chance. Eventually "The Tingler" escapes into a movie theatre, and the seat-buzzing begins!
Price and company give it their all, and the film is as enjoyable as only schlock horror can be. Fans of the genre will hoot over the murder, Vincent Price's LSD trip, the scenes where the tingler escapes into the theatre--not to mention at the monster itself, which looks like a cross between an overweight centipede and a lobster. And yes, you really can see the wires! The DVD edition also includes lots of fun extras, including a short documentary on the film. Castle fans will get a kick out of it, but all others are warned away!

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Drive-In Movie Classics 50 Movie Pack (1975) Review

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(More customer reviews)50 DRIVE-IN MOVIE CLASSICS is yet another public domain movie bonanza! It's a mixed bag of hits, misses, and total duds! Still, most are a blast to watch, and cost so much less than other releases of the same movies that it's worth the cheap price! This collection contains nudity, gore, sick humor, etc., and well deserves it's R-rating! Now, to the movies! I'll review 'em in the order they appear and use "*" for stars. THE DEVIL W/ SEVEN FACES- *** Carrol Baker is a woman plagued by the thieving partners of her twin sister. A nice twist ending you'll see coming for miles! TWISTER'S REVENGE- ** (This is on my copy instead of FIEND) A monster-truck w/ artificial intelligence helps it's driver defeat the crooks who want to steal it. Pretty dumb, but fun enough. DAY OF THE PANTHER- *** Aussie kung-fu! Ed Stazak is the fu master, out to get a druglord. Features a kung-fu fighting guy in a pig mask w/ a machette! How can you lose?? CREEPER (AKA: RITUALS)- **** Hal Holbrook stars as a doctor who goes camping w/ a group of other doctors in the deep woods, only to be stalked by a crazed murderer! Excellent! COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE (aka: SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA)- **** Christopher Lee is Drac and Peter Cushing is Van Helsing in this mod 70s vampire epic. The Count wants to wipe out mankind w/ a super-plague! Also stars AB FAB's Joanna Lumley! Watch for the nekkid sacrifice too! COUNTRY BLUE- *** Hillbillies run amok in this southern fried cops 'n' robbers saga! Dub Taylor's in it as well. GOING STEADY- ** Somewhat humorous, yet boring little tale of teens in 1950s Tel Aviv. Sort of PORKY'S in Israel! Contains nudity galore! MAD DOG (aka: BEAST WITH A GUN)- **** Helmut Berger is sleazebag, escaped convict Nanni Vitally in this bloody, rape-filled extravaganza of trashiness! He's vengeful and deadly! I WONDER WHO'S KILLING HER NOW?- * Horrible, dull, "comedy" about a guy trying to collect on his wife's life insurance. Ugg! SAVAGE WEEKEND- *** A masked murderer is on the loose! Deaths ensue. William Sanderson is a wacked out sort of guy, but is he the killer? Good stuff! BLACK HOOKER- ** Depressing tale of a mixed up kid who longs for his prostitute mum's love, only to be rejected by her and everyone else. Lots of nudity, rape, etc. JIVE TURKEY- *** OK story about black hoods against italian mobsters. Check out the transvestite assassin w/ the killer heels! ABSOLUTION- **** Richard Burton is a priest in a catholic boys' school who finds himself caught up in a psychotic game of death after he tells his class about the absolute secrecy of confession. Great! BREAKOUT FROM OPPRESSION- *** A woman is stalked and tormented by someone after being released from prison. Interesting and different. CREEPERS (aka: PHENOMENA)- **** A shortened version of Argento's classic. A young girl (Jennifer Connelly) who can psychically communicate w/ insects teams up w/ an entimologist (Donald Pleasance) to catch a serial-killer. Awesome! DON'T OPEN 'TIL CHRISTMAS- *** Someone's killing people who are dressed as Santa! Includes a urinal-side castration scene! Yikes! SNOWBEAST- *** Clint Walker, Bo Svenson, and Yvette Mimeau track down a murderous yeti at a ski resort. HORROR OF THE ZOMBIES- * Those rickety-skeleton templar monks are back. This time, some tasty fashion models are on the menu! Watch for the ship of doom (a toy boat that bobs along in someone's bathtub)! Hilarious! MAMA DRACULA- A good idea gone bad. Louise Fletcher is the queen of the damned, looking for virgins' blood to bath in. Alas, there just aren't as many virgins nowadays! This one would have been better if about 45 mins had been lopped off! MURDER MANSION- ** A group of travelers end up in a mansion surrounded by fog. A witch lives there, and mayhem ensues. The twist ending is not so good! TRAUMA- *** Schoolgirls are being murdered! They all have a connection to a horrible past event. Lots of nudity and a rather disturbing premise! UNSANE (aka: TENEBRES)- **** Yep, another Argento gem! Tony Franciosa is a writer of violent thrillers who has a killer using his books as a blueprint for murder! Bloody! VENGEANCE OF THE ZOMBIES- *** Paul Naschy plays a dual role as a wimpy mystic and his evil twin brother. The evil Paul is raising dead women from the grave to exact revenge on his enemies. These babes look more like Manson gals than zombies! VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST- ** Folks on a cruiseship are haunted by a mummy. So-so at best. Gets an extra star for the fire-eating bellydancer! Rowwrr! IN HOT PURSUIT (aka: POLK COUNTY POT PLANE)- ** It's Cheech and Chong meets Smokey And The Bandit, as hillbilly hippies smuggle pot. Car chases galore! Cheap and cheesy! SHOCK- **** Vincent Price is a doctor who murders his wife. He is witnessed by a woman who goes into shock because of it, and becomes his next patient! INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (aka: GRAVEYARD TRAMPS)- ***** Men are dying from a love overload as Anitra Ford (Messiah Of Evil) leads her swarm of Bee girls on a mating rampage! Stick around for the ultra-sticky marshmallow cream sequence! Great heavenly days! Loads of nude bodies in this masterpiece! KATIE'S PASSION- **** This early Paul Verhoven effort is about a girl who is forced into prostitution in order to survive. It's a good movie w/ one scene that shocked even me! I'll never look at shadow puppets the same way again! THE WEREWOLF VS. VAMPIRE WOMAN- *** Paul Naschy gets hairy and seeks someone to release him from his curse. He needs a silver cross that is located in the heart of the witch / vampire queen! The battle is short and at the very end of the movie! SPARE PARTS- *** A young couple is rudely interupted during their honeymoon when a gang of organ thieves kidnaps the husband! DEATH BY DIALOGUE- * Awful, direct-to-video abomination about a haunted movie script. Pitiful! LEGACY OF BLOOD- *** John Carradine is barely in this film as a "dead" guy w/ a useless family of letches. He'll give them his inheritence only if they stay a week in his mansion. Faith Demergue (This Island Earth) and Jeff Morrow (Kronos) co-star. THE MANIPULATOR- ** Mickey Rooney jumps, dances, screams, emotes, and kills Keenan Wynn in this psychedelic / psychopathic story about an ex-make-up man gone bananas! Rooney is frightening at times (not in a good way)! Luanne Anders (Dementia 13, Night Tide) is along for the manic ride! THROW OUT THE ANCHOR!- *** G-rated family fare about an oddball collection of people trying to save a cove from developers. Dina Merrill was still hot in her 40s! NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR- ***** Oh my! An anthology of truncated movies w/ hideous 80's music segments and a God / Satan philosophical debate holding them together! You get mutilations by hacksaw, nazis, electrocutions, claymation demons, a giant blood-sucking fly, and Richard Moll as a sadistic maniac! A must see! THE GUY FROM HARLEM- * The mountainous afros and plaid polyester suits can't save this toilet raft! Dull to the point of agony! DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT- **** The new nurse is in for a surprise! The mental hospital she's just started working for has undergone some drastic changes recently! Vats of blood and neggidness! PRISONER OF THE LOST UNIVERSE- ** Even Kay Lenz and John Saxon can't save this sci-fi elephant tranquilizer! RATTLERS- *** Chemicals dumped in the desert have turned harmless rattlesnakes into manhunting killers! OK. SAVAGE JOURNEY- * Dull portrayal of history of the mormon church. Richard Moll plays Joseph Smith. ISLAND MONSTER- *** Boris Karloff is either a kindly doctor or a homicidal drug smuggler. Better than I expected. BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE- **** One of my favorite Corman productions! Made for no money at all, and yet it holds up as a good monster movie! THE FIRING LINE- * RAMBO / MISSING IN ACTION clone w/ lots of gunfire and explosions, but no real characters to actually care about! Abysmal! Shannon Tweed's in it, but don't get your hopes up! TREASURE OF TAYOPA- *** Treasure hunters in mexico encounter tragedy when one of their party turns out to be a murderous lunatic! THE LAZARUS SYNDROME- ** Louis Gossett jr. is a cardiologist in this long forgotten TV pilot. It's not bad, but leads nowhere since the show never materialized. PRIME TIME (aka: AMERICAN RASPBERRY)- ***** This movie is worth the price of this entire collection! In the tradition of THE GROOVE TUBE, KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE, and TUNNELVISION, PRIME TIME is better than any of these! Someone has taken control of our tv sets, showing outrageous programming w/ such shows as: "Poodles For Christ" and "The Sexual Deviants Telethon"! There are many, many more, even more insane and hysterically funny shows! If you liked National Lampoon magazine in it's 70s hayday, then you'll love this! THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT- * A home movie w/ terrible voice-overs! Wretched cess! SLAVE OF THE CANNIBAL GOD- **** Ursula Andress and Stacey Keach lead a rescue team deep into the south american jungles to find Ms. Andress' husband. Uh-oh! Those pesky cannibals await! This is the cut version w/ limited animal deaths and nudity. Alas, Ursula's infamous scene has been clipped! The movie itself is still worth watching though. TNT JACKSON- *** TNT is out to avenge her brother's death. Her stunt-double will stop at nothing to achieve revenge! Contains the topless karate scene! WOMEN OF DEVIL'S ISLAND- *** Women look for gold and get tortured. A "reformer" arrives on the notorious isle. However, he has a secret! Pretty decent. Alright, That's the lot! I highly recommend this collection. Enjoy...

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Time to get the popcorn and lean back the recliner for 50 drive-in classics that will take you back to a golden era of over-acting and cheesy special effects. Find the best and worst of undiscovered Drive-in cinema featuring box office legends and complete unknowns.

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