Sybil Danning's Adventure Theatre: Seven (1979) Review

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(More customer reviews)B-movie veteran William Smith ("Invasion of the Bee Girls", "Grave of the Vampire") stars in this fast moving adventure as the leader of a small team of specialists assigned to break up a notorious Hawaiian crime syndicate.Amazonian action star Sybil Danning introduces the movie.Also starring Barbara Leigh, Art Metrano, Martin Kove, Susan Kiger, Guich Koock, and Richard Le Pore.Directed by Andy Sidaris ("Stacey!", "Malibu Express"). Great movie, must see advanture.

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Madmen of Mandoras/The Devil's Hand (1956) Review

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(More customer reviews)"They Saved Hitler's Brain" is a cinematic travesty made over a decade or so by two different sets of people, starring two different sets of actors. What could possibly go wrong? The basis for the film is the very short 1963 feature "The Madmen of Mandoras", which was apparently shot years earlier and shelved for a while. In the late 1960s (1968 seems the most agreed upon date), some television brain trust wanted to broadcast "The Madmen of Mandoras", but it was too short to fit in a traditional movie time slot. They hired some film school students to shoot additional wraparound footage to boost the running time. The result is one of the most jarring viewing experiences in cinema history, and ranks up there with the very best of Ed Wood or Ray Dennis Steckler for enjoyable camp viewing.
The film opens with the newly shot footage of a smarmy male and a voluptuous female CID agent arguing and engaging in possibly the worst banter in film history. The acting and writing will both make you cringe; the good news is you frequently can't hear what's being said over the loud background music. It seems that the CID is investigating the death of a scientist who was working of the G-Gas project. The dead scientist knew of the antidote, and they discover that Dr. John Coleman, another brilliant scientist, has been kidnapped and taken to the South American country of Mandoras.
The G-Gas plot sort of devolves into a "Wild, Wild World of Batwoman" pursuit of evildoers, with the movie going on to feature crazy Nazis planning to take over the world, Hitler's head in a jar (who the cast refers to as "Mr. H") yelling orders in German, a brain dead kidnapping and murder subplot, lots of stock footage, a supremely annoying and pathetic romance subplot, ridiculously inept car chases, doublecrosses, gunplay, explosions, a fire, and Hitler's head melting. Everything is here but the kitchen sink, and that may be here too, just too grainy and out of focus to see.
For someone who adores nonsensical B-movies, "They Saved Hitler's Brain" is a film to marvel at, and I particularly recommend it as a double feature with "The Thing With Two Heads".

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Madmen of Mandoras (1963 74 mins.)Less than an hour after famed American neurobiologist John Coleman addresses a conference on the deadliest nerve gas ever developed he vanishes. Meanwhile on a small island called Mandoras in the Caribbean a group of fanatics from Nazi Germany have developed their own deadly nerve gas and intend to use it to take over the en of the world. The group carried out a secret experiment after WWII to give eternal life to the brain of Adolf Hitler. In the meantime the professor's daughter and his son-in-law in possession of a clue find their way to Mandoras. Can they find her father and stop these madmen before they take over the world? Now released under it's original film title this new edition has been mastered from the original negative and it has never looked so good!The Devil's Hand (1962 71 mins.)Rick Turner is haunted by strange dreams of a beautiful woman. When he and his fiancvisit a local doll shop he is surprised to encounter a doll that looks just like the woman that haunts him. He is also surprised to discover that not only does the owner of the shop have a doll that looks like his mystery woman but there is also a doll that looks just like his fianc . He soon finds himself involved with a satanic cult and the life of his fiancis slowly fading.System Requirements:Run Time:145 minsFormat: DVD MOVIE Genre:HORROR Rating:NR UPC:787364718894

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42nd Street Forever, Vol. 5: Alamo Drafthouse Cinema (2009) Review

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(More customer reviews)4.6 stars
The first review here makes me realize how good we have it with the Alamo (actually Alamos; there's a bunch in town now). We've been watching random collections of clips just like this before most every showing of any movie since the original Alamo on 4th was crankin' in the 90s, and I've just always taken it for granted and assumed that every town has a rep theatre that does stuff like this.
I guess not! For that we can say thanks to the Alamo founders, Tim and Carrie League, and all the film freaks who put these things together. They done good, and continue to do it.
This collection really shows off the endless amount of cinematic cheese that has surfaced from the primoridal b-movie auteur muck and then disappeared over the decades. And believe it, there's lots more stuff like this in the Alamo vaults! I've seen some reeeeally obscure stuff in the previews, and with luck there'll be another Alamo dvd (or three) in this series.
Sex! Murder!! Mayhem!!! Coming soon to a drive-in near you...

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Drive-In Movie Classics 50 Movie Pack (1975) Review

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(More customer reviews)50 DRIVE-IN MOVIE CLASSICS is yet another public domain movie bonanza! It's a mixed bag of hits, misses, and total duds! Still, most are a blast to watch, and cost so much less than other releases of the same movies that it's worth the cheap price! This collection contains nudity, gore, sick humor, etc., and well deserves it's R-rating! Now, to the movies! I'll review 'em in the order they appear and use "*" for stars. THE DEVIL W/ SEVEN FACES- *** Carrol Baker is a woman plagued by the thieving partners of her twin sister. A nice twist ending you'll see coming for miles! TWISTER'S REVENGE- ** (This is on my copy instead of FIEND) A monster-truck w/ artificial intelligence helps it's driver defeat the crooks who want to steal it. Pretty dumb, but fun enough. DAY OF THE PANTHER- *** Aussie kung-fu! Ed Stazak is the fu master, out to get a druglord. Features a kung-fu fighting guy in a pig mask w/ a machette! How can you lose?? CREEPER (AKA: RITUALS)- **** Hal Holbrook stars as a doctor who goes camping w/ a group of other doctors in the deep woods, only to be stalked by a crazed murderer! Excellent! COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE (aka: SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA)- **** Christopher Lee is Drac and Peter Cushing is Van Helsing in this mod 70s vampire epic. The Count wants to wipe out mankind w/ a super-plague! Also stars AB FAB's Joanna Lumley! Watch for the nekkid sacrifice too! COUNTRY BLUE- *** Hillbillies run amok in this southern fried cops 'n' robbers saga! Dub Taylor's in it as well. GOING STEADY- ** Somewhat humorous, yet boring little tale of teens in 1950s Tel Aviv. Sort of PORKY'S in Israel! Contains nudity galore! MAD DOG (aka: BEAST WITH A GUN)- **** Helmut Berger is sleazebag, escaped convict Nanni Vitally in this bloody, rape-filled extravaganza of trashiness! He's vengeful and deadly! I WONDER WHO'S KILLING HER NOW?- * Horrible, dull, "comedy" about a guy trying to collect on his wife's life insurance. Ugg! SAVAGE WEEKEND- *** A masked murderer is on the loose! Deaths ensue. William Sanderson is a wacked out sort of guy, but is he the killer? Good stuff! BLACK HOOKER- ** Depressing tale of a mixed up kid who longs for his prostitute mum's love, only to be rejected by her and everyone else. Lots of nudity, rape, etc. JIVE TURKEY- *** OK story about black hoods against italian mobsters. Check out the transvestite assassin w/ the killer heels! ABSOLUTION- **** Richard Burton is a priest in a catholic boys' school who finds himself caught up in a psychotic game of death after he tells his class about the absolute secrecy of confession. Great! BREAKOUT FROM OPPRESSION- *** A woman is stalked and tormented by someone after being released from prison. Interesting and different. CREEPERS (aka: PHENOMENA)- **** A shortened version of Argento's classic. A young girl (Jennifer Connelly) who can psychically communicate w/ insects teams up w/ an entimologist (Donald Pleasance) to catch a serial-killer. Awesome! DON'T OPEN 'TIL CHRISTMAS- *** Someone's killing people who are dressed as Santa! Includes a urinal-side castration scene! Yikes! SNOWBEAST- *** Clint Walker, Bo Svenson, and Yvette Mimeau track down a murderous yeti at a ski resort. HORROR OF THE ZOMBIES- * Those rickety-skeleton templar monks are back. This time, some tasty fashion models are on the menu! Watch for the ship of doom (a toy boat that bobs along in someone's bathtub)! Hilarious! MAMA DRACULA- A good idea gone bad. Louise Fletcher is the queen of the damned, looking for virgins' blood to bath in. Alas, there just aren't as many virgins nowadays! This one would have been better if about 45 mins had been lopped off! MURDER MANSION- ** A group of travelers end up in a mansion surrounded by fog. A witch lives there, and mayhem ensues. The twist ending is not so good! TRAUMA- *** Schoolgirls are being murdered! They all have a connection to a horrible past event. Lots of nudity and a rather disturbing premise! UNSANE (aka: TENEBRES)- **** Yep, another Argento gem! Tony Franciosa is a writer of violent thrillers who has a killer using his books as a blueprint for murder! Bloody! VENGEANCE OF THE ZOMBIES- *** Paul Naschy plays a dual role as a wimpy mystic and his evil twin brother. The evil Paul is raising dead women from the grave to exact revenge on his enemies. These babes look more like Manson gals than zombies! VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST- ** Folks on a cruiseship are haunted by a mummy. So-so at best. Gets an extra star for the fire-eating bellydancer! Rowwrr! IN HOT PURSUIT (aka: POLK COUNTY POT PLANE)- ** It's Cheech and Chong meets Smokey And The Bandit, as hillbilly hippies smuggle pot. Car chases galore! Cheap and cheesy! SHOCK- **** Vincent Price is a doctor who murders his wife. He is witnessed by a woman who goes into shock because of it, and becomes his next patient! INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (aka: GRAVEYARD TRAMPS)- ***** Men are dying from a love overload as Anitra Ford (Messiah Of Evil) leads her swarm of Bee girls on a mating rampage! Stick around for the ultra-sticky marshmallow cream sequence! Great heavenly days! Loads of nude bodies in this masterpiece! KATIE'S PASSION- **** This early Paul Verhoven effort is about a girl who is forced into prostitution in order to survive. It's a good movie w/ one scene that shocked even me! I'll never look at shadow puppets the same way again! THE WEREWOLF VS. VAMPIRE WOMAN- *** Paul Naschy gets hairy and seeks someone to release him from his curse. He needs a silver cross that is located in the heart of the witch / vampire queen! The battle is short and at the very end of the movie! SPARE PARTS- *** A young couple is rudely interupted during their honeymoon when a gang of organ thieves kidnaps the husband! DEATH BY DIALOGUE- * Awful, direct-to-video abomination about a haunted movie script. Pitiful! LEGACY OF BLOOD- *** John Carradine is barely in this film as a "dead" guy w/ a useless family of letches. He'll give them his inheritence only if they stay a week in his mansion. Faith Demergue (This Island Earth) and Jeff Morrow (Kronos) co-star. THE MANIPULATOR- ** Mickey Rooney jumps, dances, screams, emotes, and kills Keenan Wynn in this psychedelic / psychopathic story about an ex-make-up man gone bananas! Rooney is frightening at times (not in a good way)! Luanne Anders (Dementia 13, Night Tide) is along for the manic ride! THROW OUT THE ANCHOR!- *** G-rated family fare about an oddball collection of people trying to save a cove from developers. Dina Merrill was still hot in her 40s! NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR- ***** Oh my! An anthology of truncated movies w/ hideous 80's music segments and a God / Satan philosophical debate holding them together! You get mutilations by hacksaw, nazis, electrocutions, claymation demons, a giant blood-sucking fly, and Richard Moll as a sadistic maniac! A must see! THE GUY FROM HARLEM- * The mountainous afros and plaid polyester suits can't save this toilet raft! Dull to the point of agony! DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT- **** The new nurse is in for a surprise! The mental hospital she's just started working for has undergone some drastic changes recently! Vats of blood and neggidness! PRISONER OF THE LOST UNIVERSE- ** Even Kay Lenz and John Saxon can't save this sci-fi elephant tranquilizer! RATTLERS- *** Chemicals dumped in the desert have turned harmless rattlesnakes into manhunting killers! OK. SAVAGE JOURNEY- * Dull portrayal of history of the mormon church. Richard Moll plays Joseph Smith. ISLAND MONSTER- *** Boris Karloff is either a kindly doctor or a homicidal drug smuggler. Better than I expected. BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE- **** One of my favorite Corman productions! Made for no money at all, and yet it holds up as a good monster movie! THE FIRING LINE- * RAMBO / MISSING IN ACTION clone w/ lots of gunfire and explosions, but no real characters to actually care about! Abysmal! Shannon Tweed's in it, but don't get your hopes up! TREASURE OF TAYOPA- *** Treasure hunters in mexico encounter tragedy when one of their party turns out to be a murderous lunatic! THE LAZARUS SYNDROME- ** Louis Gossett jr. is a cardiologist in this long forgotten TV pilot. It's not bad, but leads nowhere since the show never materialized. PRIME TIME (aka: AMERICAN RASPBERRY)- ***** This movie is worth the price of this entire collection! In the tradition of THE GROOVE TUBE, KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE, and TUNNELVISION, PRIME TIME is better than any of these! Someone has taken control of our tv sets, showing outrageous programming w/ such shows as: "Poodles For Christ" and "The Sexual Deviants Telethon"! There are many, many more, even more insane and hysterically funny shows! If you liked National Lampoon magazine in it's 70s hayday, then you'll love this! THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT- * A home movie w/ terrible voice-overs! Wretched cess! SLAVE OF THE CANNIBAL GOD- **** Ursula Andress and Stacey Keach lead a rescue team deep into the south american jungles to find Ms. Andress' husband. Uh-oh! Those pesky cannibals await! This is the cut version w/ limited animal deaths and nudity. Alas, Ursula's infamous scene has been clipped! The movie itself is still worth watching though. TNT JACKSON- *** TNT is out to avenge her brother's death. Her stunt-double will stop at nothing to achieve revenge! Contains the topless karate scene! WOMEN OF DEVIL'S ISLAND- *** Women look for gold and get tortured. A "reformer" arrives on the notorious isle. However, he has a secret! Pretty decent. Alright, That's the lot! I highly recommend this collection. Enjoy...

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Time to get the popcorn and lean back the recliner for 50 drive-in classics that will take you back to a golden era of over-acting and cheesy special effects. Find the best and worst of undiscovered Drive-in cinema featuring box office legends and complete unknowns.

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