9/27/2011

Kung Fu Theater: Shaolin Dolemite and Black Samurai Review

Kung Fu Theater: Shaolin Dolemite and Black Samurai
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(More customer reviews)
SHAOLIN DOLEMITE-This movie is only for a select few. If you are a fan of the Dolemite movies then be prepared to be dissapointed. On the other hand, if you liked Ninja the Final Duel distributed by Crash Cinema, you may like this movie even more. Tai actually directed 12+ hours worth of NInja Final Duel footage! Why? Probably because this is the only project he he actually had a budget for. And instead of making it a top notch production, he used all the money on film. There are 3 or 4 different versions of this, and I heard that Soulblade may put out a box set one day. One of the great things about this movie is that we actually get to see Robert Tai in action as an actor! Tai wasn't a good director(he made a couple of classics), but he was a great choreographer and can pull all of the sweet moves off himself when acting. You can tell Robert Tai's style by the way he super speeds up the film, uses insane wirework(usually bad), and uses every trick shot you could ever think of, most you wouldn't think of though. Just like Donnie Yen used undercranking as an art form in the movies he directed, Robert Tai doesn't even care if his editing looks trashy. He considers it art. While I don't see it like that, it is still a heck of a lot of fun. If you don't know who Tai is then look for the bald monk doing all the sweet animal forms 20 minutes in. He is Lo Rei's teacher in the movie.
If you are a fan of all the old school stars in this movie like Robert Tai, William Yen, Alexander Lo Rei, and Eugene Thomas, this may appeal to you. Fans of the genre may also recognize John Ladaski and Toby Russel playing the 2 Shabazz guys. Toby Russel is now head of Rarescope UK and John Ladaski you will recognize as the bald guy who keeps running into the room during the bone dislocating scene in 'Tom Yum Goong'. I had no idea Toby Russel was such a good kicker, he really gets to show off. And did anyone notice that the Davey Crockett character just kinds of stands around during the group fights? He must have been strictly a television actor.
It is quite obvious why Rudy Ray Moore chose this movie to call his own. Robert Tai was a very odd Taiwanese filmmaker who not only used white guys to fill up spots in the cast, but puts an African-American into a very large role. Some may not understand why Eugene Thomas was cast, but he and Lo Rei always had great chemistry on screen together. The fight between them at the end is the highlight of the movie.
Also, expect more ninja tricks and more fighting than was in the Final Duel. Expect around the same amount of nudity. But, expect ALL new scenes. It is completely different from the Crash Cinema version and it also includes another lady ninja nude fighting scene. Don't grab her there!! I loved this flick, it is just not for everybody. Be sure to check it out if a nude lady ninja sounds interesting to you. This is very hard not to like if you are a bad movie fan.
The movie itself is kind of hard to watch at times. Don't expect it to make sense, just expect pure cheese that is of very good quality. I think I heard the f-word about 100 times in the first 10 minutes and I didn't even crack a smile. Every joke is just completely unbearable. The only thing that Rudy Ray Moore does is show footage of himself saying-"that is a bad mother ******". Fine with me though because this movie has so much cool stuff going on it is easy to block out Moore when he is on screen. Luckily, he only says a line every 10 minutes or so.
The new dub job is amazingly bad. Surprisingly, it ended up being very fun. The dialogue is not only completely racist and unintelligent, but it doesn't even make any sense. Seriously, NOTHING makes sense. Here is an example-"You sorry apple-headed Zulu's, let's get some fried chicken". ???
I have to point out that real kung fu fans will not like this movie, but it is possible that some will. If you didn't like Ninja the Final Duel, it is very doubtful that you will be able to find any enjoyment in this. I give this a very bias rating of 3.5/5 and an even more bias rating of 5/5 for the bonus scenes.
This version from BCI is 110 minutes long. Take out the Rudy Ray Moore parts and you have about 90 minutes of Ninja the Final Duel footage. The BCI version also has an extended scene and deleted scenes. Most are fights but 1 scene is called 'Ninja Ho and Tupac get jiggy', and you can guess what goes down(no pun intended). It all adds up to about 42 or 43 minutes of extra footage(with about 26 minutes of pure action, though half of it is that stupid bell ringing duel and just shows people falling to the ground with their ears bleeding). With BCI's version of Dolemite and the Crash Cinema version of Final Duel, this comes to a total of 3 hours and 40 minutes of the 12 hour TV series that you can easily get on DVD. BLACK SAMURAI-Jim Kelly stars in the super cheesefest that is very hard to watch at times. The problem here is that BCI has the cut version so if you really want to see this movie, this is not the version to get. Black Samurai is a super cheapo flick with action that is so bad it is funny. 1.5/5 for the movie. 0.5/5 for the version in this 2-pack.

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