Gory Gory Hallelujah (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)Another entry in the long tradition of Jesus Motorcycle Gang movies, Sue Corcoran's GORY GORY HALLELUJAH is the groovy tale of four actors who try out for the role of Jesus in "The Greatest Play Ever Written." The quartet approaches their roles from different perspectives. There's Rahim the black revolutionary (Jeff Gilbert), Sky the bi hippie (Tim Gouran), Joshua the mensch (Todd Licea), and Jessie the feminist (Angie Louise). When the four Jesuses run into a pack wild Elvis impersonators things get all shook up. On the run from the law after one of the King of Kings lays low one of the Kings of Rock `n' Roll, the group happens upon the wrong backwater Podunk town.

It's about here where this wild movie settles down; perhaps a little too much. Our four Jesuses become prisoners in Jacksville and are placed with various pillars of the community, only to find that they're not everything they pretend to be. Unfortunately, this was about the time that I lost interest in the movie. I could have done for more hysteria and less histrionics. It's a shame that this flick didn't live up to its potential. Even the zombie-filled finale can't save the tepid second act.

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Four actors compete for the role of Jesus -- a Black revolutionary, a bisexual hippie, a neurotic Jewish guy and a woman! When all four are rejected, they hit the road on motorcycles, bound for glory in New York City. A fateful roadhouse run-in with a gang of Elvises strands the unlikely quartet in the town of Jackville where folk don t take kindly to blasphemers, alternative lifestyle choices, people of color or anything else for that matter. Will our would-be saviors fall prey to evil small-town conspirators, flesh-eating zombies, or save the world from the Apocalypse?

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Dead at the Box Office Review

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(More customer reviews)Perhaps best known for once being the lowest rated horror film on IMDb, `Dead at the Box Office' tells the story of a struggling independent movie theatre looking for anything they can to save their beloved movie house. As if their prayers are answered, the cinema's crew discovers an old movie reel of what they believe is a classic B-movie preview. Unfortunately for them, the reel actually holds a mind-control device created by a mad Nazi scientist. Soon, the theatre is overrun by a horde of murderous, flesh-eating zombies and the employees must find a way to put a stop to the ravenous monsters.
Perhaps it's low expectations. Perhaps it's an unending passion for zombie cinema. Or perhaps it's a warped mind that has lost its ability to recognize horrible cinema. Whatever it may be. . . but I just couldn't seem to hate this movie the way so many others have. Sure, the acting is as unimpressive as can be. And sure, the writing is pretty terrible, with ridiculous dialogue and uneven pacing. And, maybe all the lame special effects could have been purchased for $10 from Party City. But, the film did seem to have some serious heart to it, not to mention a pretty wicked story. It was pretty obvious that it was made by people who love the zombie subgenre; and, for that alone, it should be placed above most other ultra low-budget horrors that have come out. Now, this isn't to say this is a good movie. No, it's a bad movie. A very bad movie. But it's far from the worst, if only due to its watchability and comedy. As long as there are films like `The Zombie Diaries' or the `Night of the Living Dead 3D' remake, `Dead at the Box Office' should be saved as the bottom-level zombie flicks.
The one thing a movie like this brings to light is the unfortunate hypocrisy that rules the film industry. It's a sad state of affairs when someone with true passion for the genre like director Shawn Sutler is forced to be stuck with z-grade inadequacy while remake hounds like Nelson McCormick get to helm multi-million dollar productions with no heart or soul whatsoever.
Perhaps one day our genre will go back to rewarding people who actually care about horror, but it seems a far way off from now.
Final Verdict: 4/10. If only for the passion behind it.
-AP3-


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Starlite Drive-In Theater: A Dusk Til Dawn Marathon Review

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(More customer reviews)Not a bad set to own if you like crappy movies in a weird sort of way (Like MST3K does). I found the movie "The Van" by far the best one of the lot, and "Van Nuys Blvd" to be second best. "Pom Pom Girls" would be good if they showed more "Pom Pom Girls" and less John Carradine. After those 3 though, most were very forgettable unless you want a nostalgic trip looking at old products and signs of the 50's, 60's & 70's. One nice surprise though were the cartoons and snack bar ads before the movie. Definitely was a plus. A bit of trivia, on "Hustler Squad", the one real dish of the movie (Anna) was a former Miss Finland in 1974 and runner up in Miss Universe. Watch the movie with the volume off unless you want to hear some really awful sound effects.

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Starlite Drive-In Theater: Van Nuys Blvd./Little Laura & Big John Review

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(More customer reviews)Van Nuys Blvd is classic Crown International. The basic plot, Bobby gets bored with his life in a small town. Sure he's got a cute girlfriend and a mobile home. He wants more. He sees a news report about kids cruising Van Nuys Blvd. He gets in his van and heads out to LA for fun. He shows up at a drive in burger joint with his beat up van and still gets lucky with the ladies. It's amazing. And so plotless that it's like watching a documentary about SoCal culture in the 70s. I can't get enough of this film.
The same can't be said about Little Laura. it has a great cast and yet is very annoying. it wants to be an artsy version of Bonnie and Clyde. But the crimes are mostly against viewers. Such is the fate of a double feature. Get worked up watching Van Nuys and get it on with your date during Little Laura.

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